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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

An Unexpected Fate

Fate, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is the will or principle or determining cause by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do. Some people believe in fate while others believe it to be an excuse. Personally, I experienced an incident that caused me to be a firm believer in fate. I was sitting at my computer absorbed in thought when my attention was drawn to a “friend request” on Myspace. It was a request from Ben Rainwater. I remembered a Haley Rainwater from Kindergarten. In fact, Haley had been my first crush. We had a great friendship and spent hours playing together as children. Upon seeing the request, I immediately questioned whether this was the same person. When I received a reply of yes, I was thrilled. We began to talk and set up a time to meet. Our first meeting was shy but then the friendship began to renew itself. We started dating a week later. So many wonderful things have happened since renewing my friendship with Haley. Haley has impacted my life in a positive way and has been an inspiration to me.
Previously, we had known each other as children in kindergarten. After being moved to a private school in second grade, I lost contact with Haley. We have always been a little more than friends because he was my very first crush and I was his. Throughout the years, I had thought of him often and wondered what his life was like. I do not exactly know how this happened but after eleven years of not speaking or seeing each other, he stumbled upon me looking through Myspace on the Internet. After renewing the friendship, we visited about how we used to be when we were younger. We discussed how we both had really blonde hair and how my mom and his grandmother did volunteer work for our school. Both ladies were always helping out in our classrooms and with special events, such as someone’s birthday or a big event such as the school carnival. Then the subject changed to a girl named Marina who often fought with me over Haley because we both had a crush him. It was good to laugh with an old friend.
I feel accepted by Haley because he does not point out my mistakes and imperfections. He does not care that I have made mistakes in my life. He does not care if I am rich or poor. He does not care if I am fat or skinny. He does not care about my hair color or hair length. He accepts my outward appearance and looks deeper into my feelings. Haley respects me for who I am and nothing less. I have talked with men before actually dating them and they would criticize something about me. Haley, however, has stuck by my side because he knows that we all make mistakes in our life and that we learn from them. He offers me good advice when I need it. For instance, I work at a preschool where some incidents have been going on that have upset me tremendously. Haley does not try to correct my outlook or look down on me, but rather reminds me that tomorrow is another day and things will get better. He makes me feel as if he would stick by my side and encourage me whatever the outcome. There has been many things going on in my life recently, good and bad. Some of the bad things that are going on have discouraged me. For instance, striving to do my best in school and then also the stresses I deal with at work. I feel comfortable and safe talking to Haley about the negative aspects in my life because I know that he will keep it between us. He has a lot of encouraging words to say and also jokes around with some of my negative aspects to make me laugh and to see a funny side of life. He knows exactly what to say to bring a smile to my face.
I realize that we cannot confuse bad decisions with fate. I have made many bad decisions which have controlled my circumstances. A good decision for me now, is to maintain a great friendship with Haley. He encourages me and helps me realize my positive attributes. The Apostle Paul speaks in I Corinthians 9, about a runner in a race who just runs aimlessly, beating his arms in the air and not having a goal. Haley has definite goals and therefore, he inspires me to set goals and take my fate into my hands by making good decisions regarding my future.
Haley’s life has not always been easy. I admire him because he’s gone through difficult areas in his life, and has not allowed them stop him from reaching his goals and dreams. Haley started having health problems in the seventh grade, when he found out that he had a brain aneurism. He had to have brain surgery which caused him to miss a lot of his seventh grade year which resulted in having to repeat the grade. Instead of being mad and upset about repeating his seventh grade year and dropping out of school, he stuck it out and will be graduating this year from high school. His plans after graduation consist of moving to Seattle, Washington and attending culinary school. With the passion he shows for his cooking and how he loves to talk about it, it shows me that he will be sticking to his plans. I really admire this attribute and also his courage in not giving up because of a health issue. By Haley keeping his hopes and dreams alive, it has encouraged me to keep my hopes and dreams alive as well. I recently wanted to major in nursing because I enjoy being involved with trauma, for example, attending motor vehicle accidences with the fire department I volunteer with. I know it is really hard work, and there are so many areas I need to improve such as my math and social skills. Right now everything seems to be so difficult. But I am determined to not give up now because I know we all have hard times in our lives. Just because things go wrong or become difficult does not mean we have to give up on our hopes and dreams.
Haley has changed from a childhood friend, to the kindest and dearest friend that has ever come into my life. I am extremely thankful that fate has brought us back together. Wanda Hope Carter wrote in To Achieve Your Dreams: “Take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Don’t give up and don’t give in.” How inspirational. This is my plan to go forward with my destiny. I will not “give up” on my dream to be a nurse and I will not “give in” to my insecurities. I thank you Haley for your inspiration and friendship

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