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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Now and Forever

Just a draft. I have really wanted to write something new and after a couple hours of thinking and planning I came up with this. I hope you enjoy it!


Now and Forever

Today when I rose from my bed, something felt different. There was a part of me that was not the same, a major part. I vaguely remembered last night but the major part I do remember most, was the destruction and mending of my heart.

All I wanted was a friendship, but yet it was too much for him. I thought things were going good, we got a long great, laughed, hung out and life was perfect. I was even there for him in his time of need. I helped pay many of his bills; I bought groceries to help him and his father out. They were going through a rough time and I was there in his time of need. I was not financially stable at the moment but I found a way to help them. I was someone he could rely on and he knew I was there for him. He was even fine with me dating his best friend. Yet, with a relationship comes honesty, Thomas told me all the things Mike would say behind my back, he told him a ton of hurtful things, some things I was glad to hear, others I could have done without. I never let the things he said bother me. I knew that if Thomas really loved me that the things Mike discussed with him would not affect us one bit, and it has not.

Last night Thomas, Mike and I went out dinner, movie, and then to finish the night off a game of pool. It was our favorite thing to do. Thomas had to leave early, leaving Mike and I alone. This was the moment when my heart was destroyed. Mike went off on me, telling me that I caused too much drama in his life and the world would be better off if I was dead. He then went on to tell me that Thomas never loved me, it was all an act. He just wanted to keep me around to have sex when he had no one else to go to, and to get whatever he desired since he did not have a job. He told me that Thomas was cheating on me with a prettier, and skinner girl. I was just there to fill the gap and so he could say that he had a girlfriend. I knew that Thomas would never do that to me, I knew for a fact he loved me, he would never cheat on me.

I could not wait until Mike was completely away from me. I was holding back tears until the moment he left. I immediately called Thomas, he could not understand a word I said, and being the compassionate man he was to me he rushed to my side. Holding me close in his arms, I felt safe and was able to calm down. I explained everything to him, everything Mike told me I told him. He held me closer and tighter. I felt him kiss my head and I knew at that moment that I could cast my worries and know that he would always be by my side.

Thomas followed me home from the bowling alley, from which we were at playing pool. After I got home he tucked me in and kissed me goodnight, reassuring me that everything will be ok. I just needed to stay strong and it would make my life better, and I would be better off without him. He then kissed me goodnight and told me he would call when he got home, like he always does. After receiving his call, I was going to try and get some sleep.

Awhile later I was graciously woken by soft guitar playing, I was confused at first because I knew I did not turn on any music before I went to sleep. I noticed that the music was coming from outside my window; I looked out to see Thomas there, singing …

“I’m holding a fortune that heaven has given

To me

I’ll try to show you each and every way I can

Now and forever

I will be your man”

I knew this song. Richard Marx sung it. I knew that the song was talking about his worries but Thomas was switching it around making it my worries and battles but reassuring me that he will always be my man. I knew not anyone would do this for anyone, only someone who truly loved someone.

I knew that everything Mike said to me that night was all a lie. Thomas would never cheat on me…Thomas would never leave me…I knew he loved me. He knew just how to mend my heart. All it will take now is time, time to finish healing. I know whenever I am weary I have someone to go to. Someone who can mend me back when I start to break.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I like this

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong!
-Mohandas Gandhi


In the past week

Should we start with good or bad first? Id say lets go with the bad...

BAD

  • Am no longer friends with someone I have known since kindergarten :'(

  • Got suspended from work (low pull tab sells and for being sick and calling in but had no one to cover my double.)

  • Failed my math class



GOOD

  • Got a call from eyemart for an interview tomorrow (applied in April)
  • Had an amazing night Friday night with friends
  • It rained, i mean pored.
  • Registered for next semesters classes
  • Went swimming with my Chris and his friend then it rained
  • Reconnected with September and John. We are more acquainted now
  • Visited a new church with Chris (I liked it)
  • Watched Flicka 2 and loved it!
I guess the good out weighs the bad but it really hurts losing a friend - it hurts a lot. I'm trying to be strong but it really is not easy.

Goodbye Haley :'(

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Good Night World - Honey

Honey's normal bedtime routine! Her pj's, her kat, her pillow, and blanket. She loves the attention. And may I mention LOVES pillows...By the end of the night she will be on all of our pillows leaving me with nothing...Oh well I love her!


She is now sound asleep...snoring...seriously!
Sweet Dreams baby girl! I love you!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Audrey!

Yep shes my cousin and the best ever! I just met her in person this weekend! I must say she is my favorite and I love her!

A sweet success!

The pictures are not that well because I was in a hurry but this was a fun project, cost with candy and the cokes around $20...I used two kinds of mike and ikes, 2 kinds of skittles, nerds, and hot tamales. I really enjoyed this project and think I will be doing it again soon :)







Attempting something new!

I found this on this ladies blog! It seems to be fun so I am trying it for my sweety! Although I bought dark colored bottles instead...oopse! Ill post more when I finish!

Month 5

Did not realize that I have not posted month 5 of Chris and I :-o

Month 5 has been awesome! We started having more serious talks, some that were much needed! We have been meeting each others family and plan on letting our parents meet very soon, whenever our lives settle down some! Chris has such a caring personality, I've been a little sick the past couple days, he calls and checks up on me or he comes to visit me, I love it!! My family loves Chris, and my cousin Audrey says that "we work beautifully together!" and yesterday we had lunch with one of his friends and she said we are a cute couple! I love hearing these comments! I love how strong Chris and I are getting, we are so open with one another and 100% honest. He knows if something is wrong with me and I know the same about him! We still have our rough times but we just give one another some space and we are much better by the next day! I love that about us because we wont bring it up, we just let it go. One thing we enjoy doing together is fishing. We do it very often, even with his parents! My uncle wants to take us both sea fishing this summer! That is going to be fun!! I can not wait!! I will post month 6 soon as it comes! May 28th :-)

The world of my dogs

This dog...She is a one of a kind! No matter what I do to her she has to show off! She has a Mohawk on her head...her hair just randomly grew like that and wont lay down! I refuse to cut it, just makes dressing her up more fun :) She is my baby!




Jew is just fun! She fits almost anywhere, easy to sneak into places, such as walmart :) except for one thing...this dog whines more than a baby cries :-/ like seriously! But she is just cute and worth posting about :)
And then the pups together! Honey likes to smile for the camera so cute! And these dogs are like pj and J you cant separate them!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Hooters Game

I was picked to eat chicken off a string at hooters...it was so gross!


4 generations in one house!

Memas birthday weekend









Yes they caught the bbq on fire :-/ last resort was fajitas which were DELICIOUS!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Fun Fun Weekend

Chris and I are starting to get more serious. Its almost been 6 months...half a year! since we started dating. I really do love him. He got to go with me to meet my family in San Antonio this weekend and we had so much fun. Ive gotten to meet a lot of his family now in return he gets to meet mine! My aunt and uncle terry love him my cousin Audrey says "I think you too work beautifully together" :) we got to stay with them it was so fun! I got to wake up the past two mornings to his sweetness. I love it and I am going to miss it.Chris and I are some nice talks and some much needed talks. I love when we have our good talks! He can put a smile on my face in like a second flat! He amazes me!!! Here is a picture of us at the riverwalk!


Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Day Before Easter

Sounds like a good book/movie eh? haha!

Anyways I got to go finishing with my wonderful Chris yesterday. Made my day 110% better! I caught 2 crawpie fish and he caught like 4... we also went bass fishing but did not catch any bass. Although his dad and uncles caught some...we did not...lame...I hope we go again really soon! I really enjoyed it! We spent most of our day together yesterday he went and babysat with me. He kept me company yesterday when the kids went to bed. I loved it. We watched the princess bride and he ordered pizza. I really love it when we get to spend time together it makes my day and week and everything so much better! He is the best I could ever have!


Do not let the picture fool you! None of my fish made it on the line! BOO! Chris however got one fish on the line!

Before we went fishing though I got into a little encounter with my computer desk and got 4 lovely scratches on my leg! -.O ...

They are not as bad as they look. Just small scratches with bruising under them. It looks very strange!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Month 4

Oh my gosh is what I have to say. It's already been 4 months since the man I love and I started dating. I have to say I really hope he is the one God has planned to be in my life forever. He is so caring, loving and always so helpful.

So far in the 4 months we have been together, I have met his parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle and a lot of his friends, he has helped me gain more self confidence, he has shown me that he really cares about me and always wants to be able to help if I need something or if something goes wrong, we have been on a road trip in my new car together to Abilene, we were both accepted into DeVry university.

I think our favorite thing to do when we are together is either cuddle or go for walks or fishing or play pool :)

I am not sure what to call this but our more uh well I will let you fill in the blank. but a few weeks ago on a Monday night we were out at twin buttes and we were enjoying a nice walk along the water at sunset right before the movie we were going to see started. When we decided to leave he went a different way out and his car got stuck in the mud! Oh what fun that was! We called his friend Levi and when he tried getting us out he got stuck, so Levi called on of his friends, they got stuck. They called two more people and they pulled the two trucks out and finally got us out! His car was a TOTAL mess...I dk I look back on that now and it was fun but then I was terrified.

Well more to come later...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

It's mineeeeeeeee!




ain't she a beauty?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

My Valentine!

It was the best night of my life. Seriously! Chris didn't let me know where we were eating he kept it a surprise. He picked me up about 5 gave me the best valentine present ever!!!! Moonlight path lotion/perfume, an amazing card that brings tears to my eyes, and a nice heart shaped box of chocolates :) and we went for a drive then we arrived at this little house and that was were we were eating. Pesent Village (or something like that) we ate in a tiny room with only a couple of small tables walls were painted like we were in a garden and vines above our head with grapes hanging down dimmed lights and a candle lit dinner. It was so amazing. I've never had a candle lit dinner until tonight. After dinner we went and laid under the stars and watched forest gump! It was an amazing night. I really do love him a lot. He's all I could have ever asked for so sweet, so caring, so respectful, so encouraging and has such a great heart.

Can someone hand me a tissue? Such a wonderful night brings tears to my eyes! Thank you so much Chris! I really hope and pray he is the guy God has made for me. and I hope hes my first/last valentine.


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Possible late Valentines gift from daddyyy

Still isn't 100% positive its ours yet but dad has been looking at this pretty 2009 Eclipse for me! I will know Tuesday if I get it :) (fingers crossed!!!!!!)




isn't it pretty

Valentines Day!

I cant wait. It's my first one. Chris is my first Valentine I've ever had and I got him something super cool (ill tell ya tomorrow when he has it so he wont snoop :) ) He has something planned for me and i dk what it is... But I am excited! He's the best ever!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Frieeeennddss <3



DJ and Ellie had a play date today and had a blast! They played with all sorts of toys and even helped one another pick up the toys in Grayson and Ellies Room. How cute!!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I don't understand.

You try so hard to help someone, but then they just lie and act like they are "cool" and better than they really are and cause more heart ache. -sigh-

Saturday, January 2, 2010

<3

My heart is overflowing with happiness right now. my hunny wrote me the sweetest letter that brought tears. gah hes one of a kind.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Recently I have noticed.

That I have the most amazing friends ever and I don't know what I'd do without them. Thank you Haley, Chris, September and Ana for all you do for me. I love you all!

shes worse than a child.

my honey was desperate for her Christmas present. It was funny. She actually had gotten the bones and started chewing on them.





Honey's new trick....

She smiles for the camera now....how strange.

a little something for my hunny and a look over my new years night

Before you read this, I want to tell u how special this gentle man is. Every morning I wake up to a text that says "good morning beautiful" so amazing and a wonderful way to start my day. He's so caring, gentle, kind, so loving, and respectful. He comes and gets me for almost every date and we go walking a lot, just to have time for us. I've never felt the way I do in my heart hes one of a kind that is for sure. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I see him but also get really excited. I cherish every moment I am with him. I got to spend new years with him and my two best friends, September and Haley. We had a blast. We ate bbq ran to wal-mart to get sparkling grape juice (yum!) and watched the count down on the television and even got a new years kiss it was so sweet! oh did I mention we popped fireworks? ha that was fun too. September and roman candles = DANGEROUS! So funny tho she made the fireworks bounce off a tree and haha wow it was fun. anywhooo here is a lil something for my hunnnyyy <3


As I await to hear the gentle, serenading words "Good morning beautiful"
My soul can’t help but emit unfathomable joy
For in those three words I treasure
I find that they are almost too good to be true!

Like the unending flowing of the great Niagara Falls
So are the many words that cross this love drunk mind of mine
That makes me fall in love with you all over again
And imprint a childlike sparkle deep within my eye

My love for you is deeper than the ocean
Deeper than the world's most hidden wonders
And as my heart ascends itself in a fast paced motion
My soul endures in a passionate adventure
To reclaim every ounce of your never-ending presence

You are my voice when I cannot speak
You are the missing puzzle piece
Nevertheless, you are the missing link
That makes me complete
And with you in my life
I believe I can never grow weary or weak!

You make me feel like a rock star
Perhaps more or so like a princess
Locked away in a castle that seems almost too far
But when others try to deny us
You don't let that get in the way
And that is why I am sure, my prince
That you would rescue and take me away

With you always in my heart, I find I am the happiest woman on earth
It's almost as if God has planned this to be since my birth
I could never love anyone the way I love you
I only hope and pray that you feel the exact same way too!

You are the only one who has the keys to unlocking my heart
The only one who can open the windows to my soul
Forever and always
You will remain no matter what
Even whenever we are far apart

You are truly the unfailing love in my heart
And as I admirably gaze into those soulful , tranquil eyes
My mind goes on a little trip of its own
And my soul is left to assure my heart
This is only the beginning of a wonderful start!

How can you be so sure? you may wonder
After all, we have only been together but a month
True, my love, true, but you see
For when every moment I am given to be with you
You can only be so sure that you are someone truly special
And forever will be
I love you, Chris
And that's what I find most important to me!